urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam rachyiam rachyiam 2004-12-30T04:11:19Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:21527 2004-12-30T04:11:19Z 2004-12-30T04:11:19Z so i have decided that i'm done...i can't do this anymore...i feel like posting all of my feelings is wrong...i guess its just something new that i feel...i have too much going on that is way to personal to put online for other people's entertainment...i love you all...you all know how to get ahold of me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:20103 2004-12-17T19:23:36Z 2004-12-17T19:23:36Z I'M DONE! score for rachel not having anymore finals this semester!!! this rocks! i have 2 hours before i head home! time to do some packing and cleaning! i love you all! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:19546 2004-12-17T06:29:15Z 2004-12-17T06:29:15Z isn't this wonderful?? i have two...count them two finals today...yes i do...i was planning to be in bed at midnight...and i was...but no...of course i'm so nervous of messing up that i can't sleep! this is the best thing ever let me tell you what...i'm just so sleepy! yes i tried counting sheep...that did not work! every sad i know! i just don't know what else to try...i know! i'll study! that should work! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:12980 2004-11-23T17:00:36Z 2004-11-23T17:00:36Z maroon 5 THE QUESTION IS...WHAT IS MY MOST DOMINANT CHARACTER TRAIT? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:12398 2004-11-22T21:27:54Z 2004-11-22T21:27:54Z Jeremy Camp dan is so good for me...he really is...idk what i'd do without him! i love it when i see him...or just his name on the caller id...he is so supportive and loving...he has been there for me through everything and i thank God for that! Looking around my room really makes me realize that i need to clean! and do homework so... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:11990 2004-11-17T19:06:25Z 2004-11-17T19:06:25Z legacy legacy-<br />I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me<br />And I enjoy an accolade like the rest<br />And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery<br />Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's<br />That used to be the best at such and such<br />It wouldn't matter much<br /><br />I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights<br />We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"<br />But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides<br />The temporary trappings of this world<br /><br />I want to leave a legacy<br />How will they remember me?<br />Did I choose to love?<br />Did I point to You enough<br />To make a mark on things<br />I want to leave an offering<br />A child of mercy and grace<br />Who blessed Your name unapologetically<br />And leave that kind of legacy<br /><br />I don't have to look too far or too long awhile<br />To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy<br />It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile<br />Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon<br />enough destroy<br /><br />I want to leave a legacy<br />How will they remember me?<br />Did I choose to love?<br />Did I point to You enough<br />To make a mark on things<br />I want to leave an offering<br />A child of mercy and grace<br />Who blessed Your name unapologetically<br />And leave that kind of legacy<br /><br />Not well-traveled, not well-read<br />Not well-to-do, or well-bred<br />Just want to hear instead<br />Well done, good and faithful one<br /><br />I want to leave a legacy<br />How will they remember me?<br />Did I choose to love?<br />Did I point to You enough<br />To make a mark on things<br />I want to leave an offering<br />A child of mercy and grace<br />Who blessed Your name unapologetically<br />And leave that kind of legacy<br /><br />I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:9036 2004-11-03T20:36:28Z 2004-11-03T20:36:28Z ok so last night i talked to dan...and let me just say that i love him sooo much! he is so good to me...and for me...i can't even say half of the things that we talked about because it was just everyday stuff...omg i love him...he said he might start reading my lj...but i don't really think that he will so idk...but yea...i really have to do more homework urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:6748 2004-10-27T02:58:42Z 2004-10-27T02:58:42Z ~blah blah blah! i love not having stupid high school drama in my life *knocks on wood* i just love hearing about the stupid problems of others because i don't have to deal with it!!<br />~i'm a little hyper today...i don't know why...but i'm not gonna mess with a good thing!<br />~Dan is such a sweetie<br />~time to study my spanish!! yeah! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:6436 2004-10-26T16:56:44Z 2004-10-26T19:21:34Z here i go again 1. imagine the last time that you saw him (when you weren't mad)<br />2.image yourself kissing him...let the feeling sweep over you and totally calm you<br />3. see yourself pulling away...look at his face...his eyes...you can see the love he has for you...can't you? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:5920 2004-10-26T16:17:13Z 2004-10-26T16:21:31Z you can't lose me in a "comment" follow these steps!<br /><br />1. Tell me one thing you love about me.<br /><br />2. Tell me two things you love about yourself. this one i'm particularly interested in, so make it good.<br /><br />3. Look through the comments... when you see someone you know, tell them three things you love about them.<br /><br />4. Do this in your journal so I can tell you what I love about YOU - and if you've already done it, tell me so, so that I can go back and give you some love. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:5776 2004-10-26T02:46:54Z 2004-10-26T02:46:54Z hector's tank's bubbles ok...rachel's life is kinda strange right now...everything is really good...except for one thing...what in the world do i want to do with my life? Law? Social Work? Nutrition? i just don't know! it's driving me crazy! Wednesday i have to start my four year plan and i don't even know what i wanna do let alone the classes i wanna take to get there! help me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:5401 2004-10-26T01:11:00Z 2004-10-26T01:11:00Z a man's castle ~so i just got back from going shopping w/Lisa. OMG so much fun! We went all over trying to find certain things for Nate's birthday present. i do mean all over...she was getting so discouraged because we couldn't find the last and most important part a michigan callendar! so we ended up finding it in the 4th place we looked and now she's sending a christmas card to the guy who was working there...then of course we had to go and look at engagement rings (i made her come with me!) and the guy in there was so nice! it was so much fun...and yes my ring was looking mighty fine! but yeah..so now i'm trying to be a good friend to Jenny and Steve and it's getting kinda weird...but i can do it...it's all good! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:3911 2004-10-19T22:34:04Z 2004-10-19T22:34:04Z understand "Every time I fall down on my face<br />I see the one who bore all my shame<br />to know that you are everything I need<br />you to be<br />you're my ever present help in time of need<br /><br />I know you understand it all<br />so why don't I get back on my feet again(x3)<br /><br />every pain I feel inside my heart<br />it takes a faith I know I can't depart<br />well to know that you hear every cry I raise to you<br />Bringing thoughts of hope<br />the words I bring I know are few<br /><br />I know you understand it all<br />so why don't I get back on my feet again(x3)<br /><br />you hear me when I call<br />you're there when I fall<br />you hear me when I call(x2)<br />will you hear me when I call<br />will you hear me when I call(x2)<br />So why don't I get back on my feet again<br />I know you understand it all<br />so why don't I get back on my feet again"<br /><br /><br />honestly...isn't jeremy camp wonderful? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:3686 2004-10-19T02:55:42Z 2004-10-19T02:56:13Z walk by faith-jeremy camp i am so happy for steve!<br />like honestly everything is going so well for him! Jenny is so good for him...She's such a great person! seriously i worried about him for a while now...but now i don't have to! he's so happy...for the first time...like really honestly happy! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:2970 2004-10-14T14:48:36Z 2004-10-14T14:48:36Z i love Theresa Kay Holland! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:2700 2004-10-14T01:36:19Z 2004-10-14T01:36:19Z When he holds me i swear everything going on just falls into place. it seems like the world just stands still. i know that it's horrible but when i haven't seen him in forever...it is so much better. it's like he can't stop holding my hand, or looking into my eyes and really corney stuff that usually is really gross and disgusting. he's so sweet...i love him so much urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:2348 2004-10-06T13:44:40Z 2004-10-06T13:44:40Z ~why is it that when you stop looking for something, that it usually starts looking for you? why does that always seem to happen to me? it had taken me a long long time to realize that i shouldn't just date to be with someone. and i was happy with not dating. Then came cornerstone. i had known for a while that the only person that i could see myself dating was dan. i've always known deep down, no matter how hard i tried lying to myself, that i wanted to be with him. So, why was it that it took me not wanting to be with someone, to find someone? i really think that its because i was happy being me, i was okay with not being with anyone. that's part of what makes a relationship, you have to love you for who you are before you'll let anyone else really love you. you have to love yourself before you think that anyone else is capable of really loving you. i know this, because i know dan loves me...sometimes i just don't think that i deserve it, so momentarily, i think that he doesn't love me because i'm not good enough for him. love yourself for who you are! it'll take care of future problems urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:2067 2004-10-04T20:58:00Z 2004-10-04T20:58:00Z Why are there tears? drops of pain falling down my face. They'd stop if you were here: holding me, making everything alright. You said that you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Why won't you console me? Try to make all these messed up emotions go away and make me feel you insead. All it would take is you coming to see me, holding me, kissing the tears away. Whispering that you love me, looking at me with that look you get that lets me know that you're concerned.<br />i need you urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:1866 2004-09-30T20:23:07Z 2004-09-30T20:23:07Z who am i? casting crowns life difficult?<br />because i have Jesus in my life, my life hasn't been difficult like those who don't want to hear the truth. I skill have struggles and bad days and days that i have to cling to God to be able to pick myself up. i love that, i have something that i can depend on no matter what! whatever comes my way...it's okay i know that i can handle anything that God allows to come my way. it may try me and satan is there all the time, tempting me...and even though i sometimes give into those temptations He still loves me. He forgives all of my sins. He loves me more for having the strength in Him to crawl to Him on my knees and beg His forgiveness. I wouldn't trade what i have through God for anything in the world. yes, i love Dan, but if i felt that he was hindering my relationship with God...that would either change, or i wouldn't be with Dan anymore. That's me. My faith, you should have it too! its the best thing that you will ever do for yourself. You have to live for Him and want to grow as close to Him as you possibly can. You have to want to never turn away from His greatness, His saving grace. You know that you want to give control of your life to Him...His plans for your life are way better than anything that you could ever plan for yourself! don't trust me...trust Him. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:1720 2004-08-20T21:26:56Z 2004-08-20T21:26:56Z all i want right now is to be able to relax! i wish that i could just be happy in the relationship that i'm lucky enough to be in now. Sadly, my self image and my are the things that is getting in the way of my total happiness i can be laying in his arms and having an amazing time with him and he can look me in the eyes and tell me that i'm beautiful...and it all goes down from there. My head starts arguing with him "i'm not beautiful, what in the world is he talking about? how can he think that i'm beautiful, sure i guess it's what's on the inside that counts so he could be talking about that, but still i'm not that great! Wait a minute...why is he with you? you're not good enough for him. You hold him down. He should be with someone cute and skinny and smart and not demanding like you are!" and this is when he asks me what's wrong... and that is when i don't know what to say urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:1251 2004-08-17T21:42:11Z 2004-08-17T21:42:11Z i have always been taught that good will always conquer over any evil. However, when you start "growing up" and you are faced with all sorts of evil. The pressure to find someone to "love" and more importantly, the pressure to keep that person that you "love" to keep "loving" you. As is very obvious, i failed to resist that evil in high school. Try as i did, that person left and broke my heart. Untold to people around me i never got over the loss of my first love. He always meant the same to me as he had while we were together. Boys will be boys, and that is exactly what he proved to be over the next 2 years. I stood by and watched him make the biggest and stupidest choices that he will hopefully every make in his lifetime. Slowly he came to realization that sluts will be sluts and they don't want anything real or meaningful. Now he's back with me, I would be lying to say that everything is perfect, but i know he regrets ever leaving my side. so to all of you who don't value what innocents that you have left, stop, think it over, and realize that it's worth it, if you value it, he will too. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:1000 2004-06-21T22:56:50Z 2004-06-21T22:56:50Z Theresa is just so cute! i can't wait until her and Jake are really married...they are just so cute. it's so funny that she always gets all pretty when he's coming home, and the way that she still gets butterflies when she knows that she us gonna see him. it's just cute. i want that. i want to find that. the reality of the relationship that they have is crazy! when they get married...i hope that someday i can find what they have. i hope that i can find a guy like Jake...but not. and that when i do that the guy will actually want the same things that i do...i know that i'm asking a lot but i hope that i'm worth it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:632 2004-06-15T23:32:01Z 2004-06-15T23:32:01Z 20 more minutes! just a little more time before i get to go home and be out of work!! only 2 more days of working here untill i go to cornerstone! yeah! i really just don't want to be here! i just don't urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:rachyiam:382 2004-06-15T23:12:50Z 2004-06-15T23:12:50Z something stupid at work OMG i really don't like my boss...really i don't want to die all of my hair bright pink...i just want to get a few streaks where my blonde highlights already are...and they will already be almost faded out by the time i come back to work! it's really not a big deal, Sarah's hair is always cherry red...not a natural color! but not only can i not...but you walk away from me mumbling under your breath...how old are we here?