Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
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11:02 pm
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so i have decided that i'm done...i can't do this anymore...i feel like posting all of my feelings is wrong...i guess its just something new that i feel...i have too much going on that is way to personal to put online for other people's entertainment...i love you all...you all know how to get ahold of me
current mood:  complacent
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(comment on this)
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Friday, December 17th, 2004
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2:18 pm
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I'M DONE! score for rachel not having anymore finals this semester!!! this rocks! i have 2 hours before i head home! time to do some packing and cleaning! i love you all!
current mood:  chipper
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(comment on this)
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1:26 am
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isn't this wonderful?? i have two...count them two finals today...yes i do...i was planning to be in bed at midnight...and i was...but no...of course i'm so nervous of messing up that i can't sleep! this is the best thing ever let me tell you what...i'm just so sleepy! yes i tried counting sheep...that did not work! every sad i know! i just don't know what else to try...i know! i'll study! that should work!
current mood:  sleepy
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
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10:44 am - EXTRA CREDIT
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THE QUESTION IS...WHAT IS MY MOST DOMINANT CHARACTER TRAIT?
current mood: chipper
current music: maroon 5
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(comment on this)
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Monday, November 22nd, 2004
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3:52 pm - my baby
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dan is so good for me...he really is...idk what i'd do without him! i love it when i see him...or just his name on the caller id...he is so supportive and loving...he has been there for me through everything and i thank God for that! Looking around my room really makes me realize that i need to clean! and do homework so...
current mood:  content
current music: Jeremy Camp
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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2:00 pm
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legacy-
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's
That used to be the best at such and such
It wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon
enough destroy
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred
Just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
current mood: content
current music: legacy
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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3:31 pm - awwwwwwww
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ok so last night i talked to dan...and let me just say that i love him sooo much! he is so good to me...and for me...i can't even say half of the things that we talked about because it was just everyday stuff...omg i love him...he said he might start reading my lj...but i don't really think that he will so idk...but yea...i really have to do more homework
current mood:  loved
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
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9:44 pm
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~blah blah blah! i love not having stupid high school drama in my life *knocks on wood* i just love hearing about the stupid problems of others because i don't have to deal with it!!
~i'm a little hyper today...i don't know why...but i'm not gonna mess with a good thing!
~Dan is such a sweetie
~time to study my spanish!! yeah!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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12:56 pm - rachel's 3 steps to calm conversation
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1. imagine the last time that you saw him (when you weren't mad)
2.image yourself kissing him...let the feeling sweep over you and totally calm you
3. see yourself pulling away...look at his face...his eyes...you can see the love he has for you...can't you?
current mood: loved
current music: here i go again
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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12:17 pm - why not?
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in a "comment" follow these steps!
1. Tell me one thing you love about me.
2. Tell me two things you love about yourself. this one i'm particularly interested in, so make it good.
3. Look through the comments... when you see someone you know, tell them three things you love about them.
4. Do this in your journal so I can tell you what I love about YOU - and if you've already done it, tell me so, so that I can go back and give you some love.
current mood: content
current music: you can't lose me
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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1:31 am
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OMG...self loathing...what to do w/my life...Jesus help me...help me to know what i want...what i need to have in my future. i just need guidance that no body but You can give me...all i've gotten from anyone was from dan...and he just said that i wanna make lots of money and support him! such a silly boy that i love!
current mood:  crazy
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(comment on this)
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Monday, October 25th, 2004
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10:44 pm
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ok...rachel's life is kinda strange right now...everything is really good...except for one thing...what in the world do i want to do with my life? Law? Social Work? Nutrition? i just don't know! it's driving me crazy! Wednesday i have to start my four year plan and i don't even know what i wanna do let alone the classes i wanna take to get there! help me!
current mood:  confused
current music: hector's tank's bubbles
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(comment on this)
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8:28 pm
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~so i just got back from going shopping w/Lisa. OMG so much fun! We went all over trying to find certain things for Nate's birthday present. i do mean all over...she was getting so discouraged because we couldn't find the last and most important part a michigan callendar! so we ended up finding it in the 4th place we looked and now she's sending a christmas card to the guy who was working there...then of course we had to go and look at engagement rings (i made her come with me!) and the guy in there was so nice! it was so much fun...and yes my ring was looking mighty fine! but yeah..so now i'm trying to be a good friend to Jenny and Steve and it's getting kinda weird...but i can do it...it's all good!
current mood:  giggly
current music: a man's castle
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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6:31 pm
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"Every time I fall down on my face
I see the one who bore all my shame
to know that you are everything I need
you to be
you're my ever present help in time of need
I know you understand it all
so why don't I get back on my feet again(x3)
every pain I feel inside my heart
it takes a faith I know I can't depart
well to know that you hear every cry I raise to you
Bringing thoughts of hope
the words I bring I know are few
I know you understand it all
so why don't I get back on my feet again(x3)
you hear me when I call
you're there when I fall
you hear me when I call(x2)
will you hear me when I call
will you hear me when I call(x2)
So why don't I get back on my feet again
I know you understand it all
so why don't I get back on my feet again"
honestly...isn't jeremy camp wonderful?
current mood: cheerful
current music: understand
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(comment on this)
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Monday, October 18th, 2004
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10:52 pm
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i am so happy for steve!
like honestly everything is going so well for him! Jenny is so good for him...She's such a great person! seriously i worried about him for a while now...but now i don't have to! he's so happy...for the first time...like really honestly happy!
current mood: excited
current music: walk by faith-jeremy camp
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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10:46 am
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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
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6:31 pm - sunday
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When he holds me i swear everything going on just falls into place. it seems like the world just stands still. i know that it's horrible but when i haven't seen him in forever...it is so much better. it's like he can't stop holding my hand, or looking into my eyes and really corney stuff that usually is really gross and disgusting. he's so sweet...i love him so much
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
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9:33 am
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~why is it that when you stop looking for something, that it usually starts looking for you? why does that always seem to happen to me? it had taken me a long long time to realize that i shouldn't just date to be with someone. and i was happy with not dating. Then came cornerstone. i had known for a while that the only person that i could see myself dating was dan. i've always known deep down, no matter how hard i tried lying to myself, that i wanted to be with him. So, why was it that it took me not wanting to be with someone, to find someone? i really think that its because i was happy being me, i was okay with not being with anyone. that's part of what makes a relationship, you have to love you for who you are before you'll let anyone else really love you. you have to love yourself before you think that anyone else is capable of really loving you. i know this, because i know dan loves me...sometimes i just don't think that i deserve it, so momentarily, i think that he doesn't love me because i'm not good enough for him. love yourself for who you are! it'll take care of future problems
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(comment on this)
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Monday, October 4th, 2004
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4:53 pm
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Why are there tears? drops of pain falling down my face. They'd stop if you were here: holding me, making everything alright. You said that you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Why won't you console me? Try to make all these messed up emotions go away and make me feel you insead. All it would take is you coming to see me, holding me, kissing the tears away. Whispering that you love me, looking at me with that look you get that lets me know that you're concerned.
i need you
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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4:06 pm
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life difficult?
because i have Jesus in my life, my life hasn't been difficult like those who don't want to hear the truth. I skill have struggles and bad days and days that i have to cling to God to be able to pick myself up. i love that, i have something that i can depend on no matter what! whatever comes my way...it's okay i know that i can handle anything that God allows to come my way. it may try me and satan is there all the time, tempting me...and even though i sometimes give into those temptations He still loves me. He forgives all of my sins. He loves me more for having the strength in Him to crawl to Him on my knees and beg His forgiveness. I wouldn't trade what i have through God for anything in the world. yes, i love Dan, but if i felt that he was hindering my relationship with God...that would either change, or i wouldn't be with Dan anymore. That's me. My faith, you should have it too! its the best thing that you will ever do for yourself. You have to live for Him and want to grow as close to Him as you possibly can. You have to want to never turn away from His greatness, His saving grace. You know that you want to give control of your life to Him...His plans for your life are way better than anything that you could ever plan for yourself! don't trust me...trust Him.
current mood: chipper
current music: who am i? casting crowns
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rachyiam's journal